Day 3: Ab Ripper X and Cardio X

In the last two days I have not been able to shower anything above my nipples. I applied deodorant on to my lower ribs this morning. It also took me 15 minutes to get out of my new bed, which is my couch that I become stranded on at night. Every movement I make hurts; the idea of masturbating is as nauseating as eating a mayonnaise sandwich. But, by far my biggest enemy is clothes. I spent the entire day in my underwear studying for my LSAT until 5 when I had to get dressed for my work-out. I painstakingly applied my board-shorts and Moosehead t-shirt and trudged upstairs to Millard's place. Upon entering his place I realized P90X is my 'Undertaker' or 'Hulk Hogan' and I'm some schlub with a generic name like 'Scott Thompson' clad in a plain red speedo stumbling into the arena with no music, smoke or hope.

Our wine-jug weights wouldn't cut it for our scheduled Arms and Shoulder X work-out so we made some last minute changes and subbed in Cardio X. We had a new addition to our work-out troupe. Her name is Stacey and she is Millard's girlfriend. She came prepared and scared the hell out of us with her grunts. If you closed your eyes it was like you were watching a female tennis match.

Highlights: Millard's cute, petite, blonde, bubbly girlfriend is much stronger than me. (And Millard). She also looks mildly retarded when she attempts to do squat-runs...it's like she is seizuring while drowning.

State of Mind: The pain I bitched about earlier is a good pain. In my last entry I called these work-out routines BDSM sessions. That statement accidentally included a lot of insight into this whole process: it is extremely painful during and after, but it is a positive pain, a pain I welcome, a pain that reminds me I am doing my job properly. In short, I feel good.

Rating: It was like a recent Eddie Murphy movie: all-around sub-par effort, but you can tell there is a lot of untapped talent there because you've seen it in action before (I used to be an amazing cross-country runner, soccer player, hockey player; you name it, I was good at it). P53X.