Day 39: Kenpo X

I told a friend I haven't seen in a while that I was basically on day 40 of P90X. His immediate, overexcited and mildly homosexual reply was, "are you jacked now"? I, on the off-chance my old drinking buddy (who I have spent countless hours with in his mom's hot-tub and recently broke up with his girlfriend) was making a homosexual inquiry, responded evasively and vaguely: "it's a long way up from rock-bottom". End of conversation, we moved on to him wanting to become a firefighter (I know, purple-yellow-blue-green-red flags going off everywhere). But, after the conversation, I got to seriously thinking about the question.

Am I jacked now? 'Jacked' is a pretty high and prestigious category for the male body to reach. Brad Pitt in Seven or Fight Club was 'jacked'. So, was Swayze in Roadhouse. Or, Mark Wahlberg in Three Kings. 'Jacked' to me is the highest level of ripped before you enter into 'huge' or 'bulked up' territory, which I do not want to enter. 'Jacked' is the goal. Have I reached it yet? Well, if I looked like Swayze in Roadhouse, I would not be writing this now. I would be fucking...everything. No one would be safe; nor would they want to be. OK, maybe, I'm exagerrating a little for effect. I probably wouldn't be fucking right this instant - I'd most likely have my dick dipped in a pint glass of calamine lotion due to the awful friction burn from all the fucking. But, Bomber, just because you have a really, excrutiangly, keep-me-up-at-night-tossing-and-turning-and-periodically-rubbing-the-shit-out-of-my-clit-boner, hot body, doesn't mean all women are going to automatically sleep with you. 

First of all, have you seen Swayze in Roadhouse? Why they haven't made statues or monuments or national holidays for what occured in this movie, I do not know. This was the historic high-water-mark for male-body perfection. Nothing, I mean nothing, beats Swayze in Roadhouse and it never will. If, for whatever reason, a mob of angry gay people start rioting and pillaging, you just need to put Roadhouse on a giant screen and everything will stop immediately. If we needed to round up the gays to bring them to a fun camp, we would not have to break into their homes at night and forcibly round them up (god knows, they might get turned on and he also knows they are immoral savages). We just need to show them a picture of Swayze in Roadhouse keeping it just barely out of arms reach, like a carrot to a donkey, and they will follow.  At the gay porn awards, Roadhouse, has won for the last two decades. If you are a woman and Swayze in Roadhouse walked up to you and said, "I will sleep with you know", and you decline, then just hand in your vagina because you aren't using it properly. I don't care if you are a lesbian, it's fuckin' Swayze in Roadhouse. In Donnie Darko, an older Patrick Swayze plays a motivational speaker that's also a pedophile. If this character was Swayze from 15 years prior, I would have been jealous of those children. 

Point being, I am not 'jacked' yet. I hope to, at the end of this program, sneak into the bottom rung of the 'jacked' category. Making it to the upper-Swayze-echelons, is something so far away, it is unspeakable. But, do I look better? Things are shaping-up - let's put it this way, I am moving towards that picture of Swayze. I am not sure what I mean by that, but I am looking better. I just need to stop brutalizing my body on weekends as much as I do. On saturday morning, I had eggs benny and a veal sandwich for breakfast. Pretty sure, that's not in the P90 nutritional guide.

Highlights: Today's workout was sweet. Lot's of power-packed upper-cuts, jabs, kicks etc. I was beating-up imaginary henchmen like a picture of Swayze beats the hope out of any men ever to look that good. 

State of Mind: Today was a lot of fun, but I am having doubts that this program is going to make me look that much better. I want results - I will attempt to channel this into more workout motivation.

Rating: P85X