Day 10: Shoulders and Arms

I had a negative experience this morning that left me feeling stressed-out and downright awful. This made for the best work-out I've had...ever. I was mean, powerful, and bloodthirsty. I was like a bulked-up, bad-ass bull getting his balls squeezed to the point of bursting. I was Robert Deniro, Jake Lamotta; I was a raging Italian bull. (Seriously, it was badass - at one point I ripped my shirt off and yelled out "Adriaaannee". Apparently, I was an older version of Jake Lamotta that had seen 'Rocky').*

  I've stumbled upon The Secret to working-out and it is negative thinking. I came in hating myself -my brain housed the entire spectrum of negative thoughts. Oxygen, glucose, lactic acids, ATP: fuck all that noise - stress is hands down the best muscle fuel. I was pumping insane amounts of iron as punishment and it was extremely pleasurable. I know that sounds creepy and it is.** But, it works.

 From now on, in the morning, I am going to sit and visualize all the negative things that I want in my life and maybe even make a collage of them. And with the power of consciousness via the vibrational energies that surround us, I will be able to actualize these quantum potentialities of awful, esteem-crushing things. Or so I've been told.

Also, if you are a friend of mine, I need you to help me. Write me, talk to me in person, whatever - just let me know why I should hate myself or reasons why you hate me. Don't hold back, anything will be helpful. "You think you are smarter and funnier than you are". "Your beard looks like male inner-thigh hair". "I had sex with you once and your balls were gross and orange". Whatever it is, from the big to the small, anything will help. Just text HATE and the charge will show up on your...too soon?

 Highlights: Chock full of moments involving ass-kicking and the taking of numbers.

 State of Mind: I felt powerful and virile like a raging stud-bull. I definitely have never felt more fertile.

 Rating: I did almost everything - P85X.

 *It is becoming increasingly clear to me that I am only capable of connecting with reality through scenes in famous movies. 

** If you've been reading this blog, you might be wondering why I keep bringing up BDSM. I am not sure why and I don't think I deserve to know why because I've been bad and should be punished.