I hate this routine more than I hate period blood. It's a bloody mess and a total confidence-
shatterer. Any feelings of strength, manliness, or
sexiness you have built throughout the week are viciously squeezed out of you like a meal on a Caribbean vacation. (Wow, period blood and mind-blowing vacation
diarrhea in the first three sentences; I clearly cater to the high-brow demo). It's just absolutely insane. There's more different types of push-ups in this routine than I've had sex, than Kennedy's in government, than people who want to punch Michael Landsberg in the face, than reasons to feel guilty when watching Miley Cyrus etc. Point being, there's a lot. My personal nemesis is the diamond push-up. Just saying it, makes me cringe and shiver. Whoever invented these clearly never tried to do one - they're almost impossible and only bring pain and regret into this world. If I had the ability to go back in time and either uninvent the diamond-pushup or the nuclear bomb, I'd have to sit and think about it for awhile. I know some of you are thinking a nuclear bomb has clearly brought more pain and regret into this world than a type of push-up. To those, I ask, have you ever done a diamond push-up? I have and, although I've never been in a nuclear explosion, I don't see how it could be worse.
Highlights: Our douchebag instructor told us to set our goals for diamond push-ups beforehand and that he was going to do 30. You have 40 seconds for this particular section. In that time, I was able to crank out 1 girl (on your knees) diamond push-up where I went down 2/3rds of the way. Jacked-Town, population: me.
State of Mind: I'm 1/8th of the way through this program and if I keep up at this pace I will end up looking the same with slightly larger triceps and a beard. I don't see much of a difference. However, I still feel great and, that alone, provides enough reward for doing this. I think. I hope.
Rating: P35 + 5 for unneccesary manly screaming = P40X
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