Day 16: Plyometrics

According to our oftenly douchebaggy and generally encouraging fitness instructor, "plyometrics is the mother of all P90X workouts". It's pure cardio and leg assault. It leaves you drenched in sweat and begging for mercy. The amount of sweat you produce during this workout almost seems humanly impossible. I'm seriously concerned for Millard's neck when we do this; Patricia (Millard's sweaty-beard) bloats like a sea-monkey. It must weigh ten pounds. It looks like he has half of a hairy life-preserver wrapped around his face. That being said, everytime we've done plyometrics we come prepared, but inevitably have to take a few extra breaks. 

At 5:30 I believed that giant penis-shaped cheetos existed. At 5:31 Millard shook me awake from my nap (my phone was on vibrate). I groggily dragged my feet upstairs and we began. About 1 minute in Millard lets me know he made me a peanut butter toast. We've already started, there's no turning back. So, there I am doing leg raises, eyes glazed over, still trying to figure out if these giant penis cheetos are on the market, eating a peanut butter toast. Needless to say, this was the least prepared I've been for plyometrics.

But guess what? We bent over plyometrics sending cheeto dust everywhere. We did it! This is an absolutely amazing achievement. I understand how the Jamaican Bobsled team felt walking their sled past the finish line, how Rudy felt being carried off the field, how Rocky felt beating Draggo and avenging the loss of his friend, how Obama felt winning that thing, how Matt Damon felt winning the Rugby world cup and uniting a nation (I haven't even seen Invictus, I'm assuming they win)* and how Oprah feels everyday. No breaks! The mother of all P90X workouts! Kill me now, I've reached my peak.

Highlights: I had to workout in front of Millard because everytime he turned his head, a splash of sweat would squirt from Patricia. Patricia squirting on you is gross (get it? HA! vaginal excretions!! R-R-R-Raannndddyyyy**).

State of Mind: Again great cardio and awful strength. Still in 8 year-old boy territory.

Rating: A first for us, P90X!

* How much better would it be if Morgan Freeman was Nelson Mandela and Barack Obama for that matter?

** If you don't get that reference your life is much worse than it could be. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSS5Tr0UHZQ Randy is a few minutes in.